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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

"This is crazy!" or "My New Life"

I am currently sitting in the parking lot of the Public Library using the wireless, because even tho it's 2011 fiber optics (or whatever is needed for high speed internet) are just too much for my beloved small town!

So, that means I am IN my small town, I am moved into my apartment and will be posting before and after pics of my too cute kitchen soon! Just one more project to finish before I am satisfied with it. All red and aqua dear reader!

My wonderful little sis Shannon has stayed with me from day one of my new life, so lets see that would be 21 days! Wow! Sleeping on an air mattress for almost a month! Gosh I love her. I could not have done this without her.

My worst enemy is change, I have not like new situations since the day I was born, like they literally had to pull me out! lol I HATE moving, new routines and endings. If I am on the brink on newness, I am on the brink of a meltdown. I am tearing up right now just thinking about it. :(

So I must be crazy right for moving away from my family right? Right! But I really feel this is where God wants me. Apart from my parents house Van is the most home-like place I have. Plus I am living with my brother so I have some family here. Sometimes tho loneliness creeps into my heart and I question my decisions.

Shannon leaves me on Thursday so I know that will be a sad SAD day for me. Then on Saturday my best friend Megan who is visiting from New York will be flying back... bad week all around!

Today was the first day of Little Disciples where I teach the 3 year olds, it went great and God was with me all day. Once I get used to my new schedule I will have peace again, just like always but these first 2 weeks will be tough for me. I have such plans for myself that really do make me happy but its hard to shake this anxiety sometimes. It's irrational I know, and has haunted me all my life so you would think I would be used to it and able to cope by 24 but the tears on my shirt beg to differ.

This isn't me asking for pity, its just me getting it off my chest and asking for prayers while I adjust to like on my own. My parents are just 90 min away which is not too far but just far enough. I have been praying that God will provide my dad with a job out here so they can move down the street but He knows what's best for my family.

Phew... I feel a little better having gotten that out there. I am such a mess, my friends and family deserve gold medals for putting up with me and my crazy issues!

Next post will be better I promise!

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